The Derelict Podcast

From Tragedy to Triumph: Belinda’s Journey of Comedy, Vulnerability, and Global Adventures, EP 37

Join Josh “Abbandonato” Tomeoni on The Derelict Podcast as he welcomes Belinda Filippelli—a stand-up comedian, business owner, and cultural storyteller. Belinda shares her journey from her Italian-American roots to living in cities like New York, Prague, and Barcelona. She opens up about the challenges of navigating comedy as a woman, the tragedy of losing her brother and finding resilience through vulnerability and storytelling.
Discover insights on embracing failure, trusting your intuition, and the power of choice. This episode offers laughter, introspection, and an inspiring message about redefining your narrative despite life’s challenges.
Key Takeaways:
• Living abroad teaches empowerment and choice.
• Embrace failure for personal growth.
• Vulnerability builds true connections.
• Trust yourself to navigate setbacks.
 
Memorable Quotes:
- “Comedy became my outlet to process family tragedy and find my voice.” – Belinda
- “Living abroad since 1999 taught me that choice is power.” – Belinda
- “Nothing is empowering about living like a victim.” – Josh
 
The Obstacle Is the Way: by Ryan Holiday
   https://a.co/d/dlYFgVj
Belinda Filippelli
   https://www.instagram.com/begoodbebadbelinda/?hl=en
 
🔗 Join the discussion and gain insights into self-growth, boundaries, and the art of recovery.
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𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?
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#CulturalIdentity #Resilience #ComedyAndGrief #SelfDiscovery #EmotionalHealth #Vulnerability #PersonalGrowth #Empowerment #LifeLessons #Heritage #Intuition #SupportSystems #OvercomingChallenges #MentalWellbeing #PodcastDiscussion

Raising Strong Men: Balancing Physical, Mental, & Spiritual Health, EP 36

In this powerful episode of The Derelict Podcast, Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni and special guest Mark Paisant (www.marcpaisant.com) dive deep into the journey of raising boys to become strong men. Mark shares personal stories of overcoming body image issues, developing motivation, and the ongoing struggle for discipline. Together, they unpack the societal pressures men face, the importance of vulnerability, and the role of accountability in personal growth. This conversation is a must-watch for anyone wanting to reshape the way we approach masculinity, mental health, and raising the next generation of men.
 
Get in touch with Marc at www.marcpaisant.com!
 
Resources:
Kobe Bryant on Failure: https://youtu.be/EDlh2ewrGQI?si=jo820Os-lHx5cfAB
“Hard Times Create Strong Men” Stefan Aarnio: https://amzn.to/4c38e3b
 
Chapters
00:00 - Introduction: Raising Boys to Strong Men
02:03 - Physical & Mental Health: A Vital Balance
07:53 - Social Influences: How Your Circle Impacts You
13:01 - Vulnerability: The Power in Embracing Failures
16:48 - Avoiding Perpetual Boyhood: Owning Your Growth
35:09 - The Keys to Accountability & Discipline
42:17 - Embracing Vulnerability: A New Kind of Strength
56:02 - Understanding Failure: The Path to Growth
01:02:59 - Prioritizing Personal Growth: Your Responsibility

Men, Emotions, & Terrorism: Breaking Gender Norms, EP 35

In this powerful episode of The Derelict Podcast, host Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni interviews James Stamatelos, a certified coach and counterterrorism expert, on the complex issues surrounding masculinity, emotional maturity, and societal pressures. James shares his personal breakdown story and how a friend's support changed his life. Together, Josh and James explore why men often feel like they’re not enough and how societal expectations suppress emotional expression. From the surprising links between terrorism and emotional maturity to breaking down gendered notions of feelings, this discussion uncovers how shame impacts men’s mental health and emotional growth.
 
Discover how curiosity, presence, and acceptance are key to unlocking emotional freedom for men, and why close relationships are vital for emotional resilience. This episode is a must-watch for men seeking a deeper understanding of their emotions and those looking to create safe spaces for men to express their feelings.
🔥 Don’t miss this engaging conversation that challenges everything we thought we knew about masculinity.
Resources:
“Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection” Niobe Way: https://amzn.to/3MEiLa2
“The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself” Michael A. Singer: https://amzn.to/3MXuQHH
Don't Forget to SUBSCRIBE to The Derelict Podcast channel and press (🔔) to join the Notification Squad and stay updated with new uploads. ✨
 
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𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?
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Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction and Guest Background06:50 - Terrorism & Emotional Maturity: Unlikely Connection12:51 - What Drives Someone to Terrorism?18:16 - Societal Pressure and Men's Emotional Health24:43 - Why Close Relationships Matter for Men32:51 - Breaking Gender Norms on Emotions34:39 - Accepting All Forms of Sexuality36:21 - How Masculinity Boxes Men In39:10 - The Power of Curiosity in Emotional Growth41:00 - Giving Yourself Permission to Feel44:27 - Staying Curious: Emotional Health Tips47:00 - Understanding the Positive Intent of Your Emotions48:55 - Reflecting on & Expressing Feelings53:23 - Presence & Acceptance in Supporting Others57:25 - Creating Safe Spaces for Men's Emotional Expression

Master Your Mindset: Grief, Growth, and Self-Talk Transformation, EP 34

In this inspiring conversation, Hashondra Jernigan Smith shares her powerful journey of personal growth and empowerment, offering deep insights on how to transform your mindset and take responsibility for your emotions. She opens up about grieving the loss of her son and the process of forgiving herself and others, revealing how self-evaluation, solitude, and self-talk have played a critical role in her healing.
Hashondra and Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni dive into the significance of self-talk and affirmations in building self-esteem, overcoming negative thoughts, and developing self-awareness. Hashondra’s wisdom around embracing solitude and using affirmations to shift negative internal dialogue will resonate with anyone seeking personal growth. She also breaks down the difference between grief and emotional withdrawal in relationships and the role that ego plays in navigating these feelings.
From mindset mastery to generational wisdom, Hashondra’s journey offers valuable lessons for creating a positive impact not only on yourself but on future generations. Whether you're processing grief, working on forgiveness, or striving for personal growth, this conversation is packed with actionable takeaways that will help you tap into your inner strength and start your day with intention.
"Your voice is the most important voice you will ever hear in your life….Am I talking down to myself, or am I speaking life to myself?"
Resources
“unATTACHED: the Final Season” by Hashondra Smith: https://amzn.to/47ddNdG
 
Don't Forget to SUBSCRIBE to The Derelict Podcast channel and press (🔔) to join the Notification Squad and stay updated with new uploads. ✨
 
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𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction and the Power of Mindset
06:26 Hachandra's Journey of Healing and Forgiveness
16:31 Transition from Victim to Empowered
26:14 Becoming a Curious Observer and Talking to Ourselves
27:06 Letting Go of Blame and Embracing Personal Growth
28:02 Embracing Self-Care and Self-Talk
28:49 The Power of Recording Affirmations
29:18 Differentiating Grief from Withdrawal
36:39 The Influence of Ego on Grief
49:02 Generational Wisdom and Personal Growth

How Trauma, Community, and Vulnerability Shape Men Today, EP 33

In this eye-opening episode, Dr. Richard Oelberger, aka Dr. Zero, takes us deep into the psychology of men, revealing the critical role of resilience, community, and vulnerability in overcoming trauma. Drawing from his powerful experiences working on Skid Row in Los Angeles, Dr. Zero discusses the shared struggles between those in poverty and affluent areas, debunking myths around money, success, and happiness. He also emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and healing, urging men to embrace vulnerability and build authentic connections. Joined by host Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni, this conversation explores how societal expectations impact men, how social media skews self-perception, and why sharing struggles is the first step toward personal growth.
Don’t miss the transformative advice on starting your journey of self-discovery, backed by the power of community and accountability.
 
Get in touch with Dr. Zero!:
http://www.richardlistens.com
https://www.richardlistens.com/podcast/
 
Resources:
“The Zero Method” Richard ‘Dr. Zero’ Oelberger: https://amzn.to/3MyL49E
“Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life” Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD: https://amzn.to/4e9GIBI
“In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction” Gabor Maté: https://amzn.to/4gdx4Qq
 
Don't Forget to SUBSCRIBE to The Derelict Podcast channel and press (🔔) to join the Notification Squad and stay updated with new uploads. ✨
 
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𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?
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Chapters:00:00 Introduction and Dr. Zero’s Unique Perspective02:48 Modern Psychology: Working with Men Today07:02 Trauma Across Social Classes: Skid Row vs. Affluence13:21 Breaking Societal Expectations: Men and Vulnerability19:02 Trauma's Lasting Impact and Overcoming It22:15 Avoiding Trauma and the Need for Self-Awareness25:38 Building Trust and Strong Relationships28:00 Embracing Healing and the Journey of Growth29:10 The Power of Male Community and Connection30:22 Vulnerability as Strength: Navigating Emotions and Insecurities31:42 Accountability and Support in Personal Development34:25 How Social Media Affects Men’s Self-Perception46:08 The Importance of Self-Care and Play53:20 Beginning the Journey to Personal Growth

Breaking the Silence: Why Men Struggle to Open Up and How to Overcome It, EP 32

In this powerful episode of The Derelict Podcast, we dive deep into the emotional struggles men face and the societal barriers that often prevent them from seeking help. We discuss the fear of vulnerability, the stigma around expressing emotions, and the toll it takes on mental health. Discover why it's essential for men to find their purpose, embrace vulnerability, and engage in activities that align with their values. Learn how creating safe spaces and asking for help can transform lives. Join us as we explore the importance of breaking the cycle of anger and emotional suppression and encourage open dialogue about mental health.
 
🔑 Key Takeaways:
Overcome the fear of vulnerability and embrace emotional growth
Break societal norms holding men back from seeking help
Find your purpose and align it with your personal values
Learn how to create safe spaces for men to openly process emotions
 
Get in touch with Anna!: www.annaurnova.com
To book your free coach call with Coach Anna Urnova: www.annaurnova.com/apply
Free masterclass about Five Shifts of Your Successful Mid-Career Change: www.annaurnova.com/freetraining
 
Don't Forget to SUBSCRIBE to The Derelict Podcast channel and press (🔔) to join the Notification Squad and stay updated with new uploads. ✨
 
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𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?
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#mensmentalhealth #malevulnerability #mentalhealthawareness #breakthesilence #menempowerment #emotionalgrowth #findyourpurpose #thederelictpodcast
 
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction: Why Men Struggle with Vulnerability02:37 Navigating Midlife Career and Personal Challenges05:44 The Role of Vulnerability in Mixed-Gender Groups12:43 Breaking the Taboo: Expressing Anger as a Man17:58 Unprocessed Emotions: A Silent Struggle for Men20:09 The Impact of Suppressed Anger on Mental Health21:51 Creating Safe Spaces for Emotional Growth in Men24:06 The Cycle of Anger: Why Men Get Stuck29:33 Embracing Vulnerability: A Key to Emotional Freedom34:19 Healthy Ways to Process and Release Emotions41:25 How Integrating the Self Leads to Fulfillment45:55 Discovering Your Purpose: A Path to True Happiness46:41 Claiming Your Gifts: Turning Struggles into Strengths47:48 Shifting Your Identity: Becoming the Man You Want to Be50:08 Deconstructing and Rebuilding Your Inner World52:33 The Journey of Becoming a Writer: A Story of Self-Expression53:28 Living Out Your Identity with Confidence54:39 Changing Networks: Surrounding Yourself with Support55:57 The Impact of Networks on Personal Growth01:03:18 The Power of Seeking External Help for Transformation

5 Stages of Breakup Recovery: How Rejection Can Be Your Best Friend, EP 31

Josh failed at dating, part 2! In this powerful episode of The Derelict Podcast, Josh Abbandonato dives deep into relationship transitions, offering a fresh perspective on navigating the emotional turmoil of breakups. Josh explores the 5 R’s of a relationship transition: Responsibility, Reaction, Rejection, Response, and Reflection & Recovery. He shares invaluable insights on taking responsibility for your actions, trusting your intuition, and seeing rejection as a favor that can save you from wasting precious time. Josh delves into how the crossroads of recovery or relapse define the next chapter of your life and why setting boundaries is essential to nurture your authentic self.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone going through a breakup, struggling with rejection, or looking to heal and recover. Josh emphasizes the importance of a supportive community and why you should reflect on whether certain relationships are worth the pain. Tune in to learn how to take charge of your healing process and move forward with clarity and strength.
 
Key Takeaways:
Responsibility: Owning your actions
Reaction: Trusting your gut feelings
Rejection: A favor in disguise
Response: Choosing recovery over relapse
Reflection & Recovery: Building a new version of yourself
 
Memorable Quotes:
“The version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility.”
"No relationship is worth a slight loss of your true self.”
“Rejection is a favor. Don’t waste your time on someone who isn’t meant for you.”
 
🔗 Join the discussion and gain insights into self-growth, boundaries, and the art of recovery.
 
#thederelictpodcast #relationshiprecovery #healingafterbreakup #gutfeeling #rejectionisafavor #relationshipboundaries #selfreflection #communitysupport
 
Chapters
00:00 – Introduction: Navigating Breakups04:54 – How Will You Choose to Respond? Gut vs. Emotion09:08 – The Power of Dates and Significant Moments13:08 – The 5 R's of Relationship Transitions14:21 – Responsibility: Owning Your Actions21:12 – Reaction: Trusting Your Gut & Intuition27:30 – Rejection: It's Not Me, It's You - A Blessing in Disguise33:42 – Response: The Crossroads - Recovery or Relapse?38:58 – Reflection & Recovery: Becoming a New You52:55 – Why Community Is Key in Healing

From Breakup to Breakthrough: Josh's Powerful Lessons on Healing & Growth, EP 30

Josh failed at dating, part 1! In this raw and emotional episode of The Derelict Podcast, host Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni opens up about his recent breakup, sharing the profound lessons he’s learned along the way. Joined by his friend Veronica, they dive into the power of vulnerability, the importance of setting boundaries, and how embracing failures can lead to incredible personal growth. Josh reflects on past relationships and offers actionable advice on healing after a breakup, overcoming shame, and learning to seek feedback from trusted sources.
This episode uncovers key insights into the journey of emotional recovery for men, highlighting the difference between avoidant and addictive behaviors and why being present with your emotions is crucial for healing. Whether you're recovering from heartbreak or simply looking to grow emotionally, Josh’s reflections and tips offer powerful tools for navigating life’s toughest moments.
🔑 Don’t miss this candid conversation full of practical wisdom for any man looking to heal, grow, and embrace their vulnerabilities.
 
Resources
Red/Yellow/Green Light Behaviors (3 Circle Worksheet): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QMsT2e0KOhBokB6r_mr9XO6JihSso6EC/view?usp=sharing
Resentment, Fear, & Sex Inventory: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eDPqVnNDWWjmhYKj0Azj4dyLDp_z1Nr2/view?usp=sharing
How to make an amends: https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/articles/making-amends-addiction-recovery
Love Style Quiz: https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz/
 
Chapters
00:00 - Introduction: Embracing Failures and Authenticity05:06 - Navigating Breakups & Emotional Growth18:32 - The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries29:59 - Learning from Mistakes: Healing & Growth35:43 - Emotional Well-being: Green Light Behaviors41:03 - Seeking Feedback & Overcoming Ego42:33 - Understanding & Managing Avoidant Behavior44:00 - Addictive vs. Avoidant Behaviors: What You Need to Know46:29 - Sobriety vs. Recovery: Understanding the Difference51:51 - Honest Communication for Emotional Healing56:37 - Vulnerability & Authenticity in Relationships01:00:28 - Navigating Emotions & Reactions Post-Breakup01:03:22 - The Healing Power of Crying & Feeling01:06:15 - Recognizing Defensive & Reactive Behaviors01:09:31 - Self-Reflection & Seeking Support Systems01:19:36 - The Healing Process: Moving Forward