The Derelict Podcast

The Importance of Intentional Challenges for Men, EP 28

In this episode, Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni and marriage and family therapist Kristal DeSantis delve into the unique challenges men face in seeking help and support. They discuss the importance of community, intentional challenges, and the societal expectations that often prevent men from reaching out for assistance. Kristal shares insights from her book, “Strong: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man,” exploring the scarcity of resources for men in relationships and mental health. Josh and Kristal emphasize the need for men to step up to challenges, highlighting the balance between risk, safety, and growth in relationships. They discuss the six aspects of a healthy relationship—safety, trust, respect, openness, nurturing, and generosity—and the crucial roles of self-awareness, stability, self-regulation, and self-expression. This conversation encourages men to live authentically, aligned with their values, while seeking the support and resources they need to thrive.
 
Resources
“Strong: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man” Kristal DeSantis: https://amzn.to/4fP6Y67
 
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Book Overview
03:09 The Lack of Resources for Men in Relationships and Mental Health
08:00 Empowering Men to Seek Help and Therapy
15:24 The Importance of Intentional Challenges for Men
25:50 Building Community Support for Men
27:35 Stepping Up to Challenges
29:59 The Interplay Between Risk, Challenge, and Safety
32:33 The Importance of Self-Awareness and Confidence
35:24 Self-Regulation and Self-Expression in Relationships
48:20 Living a Life Aligned with Your Values
54:31 Seeking Help and Resources for Personal Growth

Men: Let’s Embrace Fallibility and Redefine Masculinity, EP 27

Discover a powerful conversation on masculinity in this episode as Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni sits down with Brent Dowlen to redefine what it truly means to be a man in today’s world. They delve into the crisis of masculinity, exploring how humility, gentleness, presence, and calmness are essential qualities for modern men. Learn why true strength isn’t about physical dominance but lies in discipline, responsibility, and emotional integrity. Brent and Josh tackle the pressure men face to conform to outdated stereotypes, urging listeners to embrace their authentic selves and grow through learning and self-awareness. This episode also covers the instinctive roles of men and women, emphasizing the beauty in fulfilling these roles while breaking free from traditional limitations. Tune in to uncover how reconnecting with nature and the power of spoken affirmations can help you define your own version of masculinity and live with confidence and purpose. This conversation is a must-listen for men seeking personal growth, self-discovery, and a fresh perspective on what it means to be truly masculine. Let us know what you think! Email us: podcast@thederelict.biz
 
Get in touch with Brent!
Read me a story dad podcast: readmeastorydad.com
Fallible man podcast: thefalliblemanpodcast.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thefalliblemanpodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefallibleman/
 
For fun: The Witcher - Banquets Bastards and Burials: Geralt's speech: https://youtu.be/JYI7JCpp1Jg?si=KjR61STb5P3Zw_0p
 
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Read Me a Story, Dad Podcast
03:01 The Genesis of The Fallible Man Podcast
06:39 Defining Fallibility and True Masculinity
10:47 The Importance of Humility and Integrity
17:26 The Crisis of Masculinity
19:20 Discipline and Other Core Traits of Masculinity
22:22 Living with Integrity and Self-Care
31:51 Unique Challenges and Traits of Masculinity
32:27 Redefining Masculinity
41:41 Societal Perceptions of Masculinity
48:29 Controlling Bass Boat Syndrome
53:13 Connecting with Nature
57:57 Speaking Positive Affirmations

I Failed At Religion Post Divorce: EP 26

Third time’s the charm for religion, right?!?! Well, we’ll see.
In this episode, host Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni discusses his journey of self-discovery with religion post a traumatic event- his divorce! Have you experienced a traumatic event that has shaken your religious beliefs? If so, welcome! Come listen to his failures and how he felt abandoned and failed by religion! He explores the process of deconstructing and reconstructing his beliefs, seeking a religion that is supportive, authentic, and true.
Listen in and let us know what you think! Email us: podcast@thederelict.biz
 
Resources:
A Grief Observed, C.S. Lewis: https://amzn.to/49XDVJu
The Power of Now Bundle, Eckhart Tolle: https://amzn.to/4dr4qd5
Everything Belongs, Richard Rohr: https://amzn.to/3QuBebg
 
Chapters:
00:00 Most sarcastic intro to date!
07:01 How have you failed lately, Josh?
13:08 Community is key?
22:29 Deconstruction is key?
30:22 Reconstruction is key?
33:32 Let's be honest about our own spiritual journeys together!

I Failed At Religion As a Young Man: EP 25

Religion, take 2! In this episode, host Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni delves into his experience with religion as a young man. The time where our childhood religious beliefs are challenged can be difficult- even into adulthood! Tune in for more failures and lessons and we continue to dive deep into being authentic, vulnerable, and awesome derelicts! Listen in and let us know what you think!
Email us: podcast@thederelict.biz
 
Resources:
Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller: https://amzn.to/3QuDCPw
Jesus in the Margins, Rick McKinley: https://amzn.to/3QsFYhT
“The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill” Podcast: https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/podcasts/rise-and-fall-of-mars-hill/
 
Chapters:
00:00 Welcome!
05:48 How have I failed lately?
14:15 Community is key?
22:35 Knowledge and Structure are key?
31:40 Community involvement is key?
35:00 Tribe is key?
38:24 Outreach is key?
44:30 Revolution & Magnetism are key?
51:30 This is NOT the end

I Failed at Religion as a Kid: EP 24

Were you raised in a religious household? What's your spiritual journey look like now?
In this episode, host Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni opens up about his journey with religion as a kid and the many failures along the way! Do you relate?  
Listen in and let us know what you think!
Email us: podcast@thederelict.biz
 
Resources:
South Park, Purity Ring: https://youtu.be/0pSTQBAKnsg?feature=shared
 
Chapters:
00:00 Welcome!
06:45 How have I failed lately?
12:06 Religion as a kid!
17:05 Evangelism is key?
22:14 Experience is key?
28:00 Rules and Image are key?
41:15 No Regrets!

What’s more important: self-confidence or self-worth? EP 23

Kevin Palmieri from @NextLevelUniversity chats with Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni about his journey of self-belief and self-worth, and how external success can sometimes trigger internal turmoil. He shares personal experiences of facing fear and self-doubt, and the importance of pushing through and taking action. Kevin emphasizes the significance of surrounding oneself with supportive and like-minded individuals, and the impact of the reference group on personal growth. He also highlights the importance of humility and staying grounded in the face of success. Kevin's ultimate goal is to be the person he needed when he was at his lowest point, and to make a positive impact on others. And, as always, he and Josh talk about failures along the way. Listen in and let us know what you think!
Email us: podcast@thederelict.biz
 
Resources
Kevin’s podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@NextLevelUniversity
The Gap and The Gain: https://amzn.to/3UkpGsy
 
Chapters
00:00 Welcome Kevin Palmieri!
00:52 Discussion on Self-Worth and Imposter Syndrome
06:33 Dealing with Failure and Disappointment
10:12 The Importance of Courage
12:06 Differentiating Failure from Learning Lessons
15:45 The Impact of Supportive Relationships
24:35 The Fear of Judging Success
27:09 Being the Person You Needed
28:37 Balancing Financial Success and Impact
29:07 The Journey of Self-Improvement
39:47 Building Self-Worth and Confidence
47:59 Reflecting on Your Progress
57:20 Surrounding Yourself with Supportive People

Being True to Yourself (or “How Men Fail at Being Our True Selves”): EP 22

In this episode of the Derelict Podcast, Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni and guest Cory Desimone discuss the topic of being true to oneself. They explore the challenges men face in being authentic and the limiting beliefs that hold them back. They also discuss the importance of solitude and self-reflection in discovering one's true self. The conversation highlights the need to let go of external validation and find peace within oneself. The hosts encourage listeners to take small steps towards solitude and self-discovery. The conversation explores the importance of spending time in solitude and being comfortable with oneself. It emphasizes the need to engage in self-reflection and self-discovery without any external agenda. The speakers discuss the challenges of being alone and the societal pressures that make it difficult for men to embrace solitude. They highlight the significance of loving oneself, finding value in who you are, and avoiding the comparison game. The conversation also touches on the importance of acknowledging and embracing all emotions, realizing that they are temporary and not the enemy. The speakers encourage listeners to be present with their feelings and give them honor, as well as to find ways to serve others as a means of getting out of their own heads. Let us know what you think!
Email us: podcast@thederelict.biz
 
Resources
"Invitation to Solitude and Silence" Ruth Barton: https://a.co/d/0hBqmD6E
"Overcoming Anticipatory Anxiety" Sally Winston: https://a.co/d/04mvEaoA
 
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Setting the Stage
01:23 The Challenges Men Face in Being True to Themselves
06:50 The Importance of Solitude and Finding Comfort in One's Own Company
10:12 Discovering and Embracing Your True Self
24:35 Practical Tips for Embracing Your True Self
28:16 The Power of Solitude
36:32 Overcoming Societal Pressures
38:22 Self-Love and Acceptance
41:36 Embracing Emotions
46:41 Breaking Free from Comparison
51:50 Serving Others

Living Out True Masculinity, EP 21

In this conversation, Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni reflects on the concept of getting away from it all and the struggle of escaping oneself. He discusses his recent travels and the experiences that have led him to question the display of manhood in the world. Josh explores the opening ceremony of the Paris Olympics and raises questions about the true masculinity exhibited by the men involved. He emphasizes the importance of living out one's true authentic masculinity and calls for men to stand up and be courageous, compassionate, and loving. Josh also shares strategies for breaking the cycle of unhealthy behaviors and encourages listeners to connect with positive influences and engage in activities that help them live out their true masculinity. Let us know what you think! Email us: podcast@thederelict.biz
 
Resources
Ongoing Resources for Men: https://www.thederelict.biz/resources
 
Chapters
00:00 Introduction: Getting Away and Escaping Oneself
01:55 Questioning the Display of Manhood
05:41 Reflection on the Paris Olympics Opening Ceremony
09:48 Living Out True Authentic Masculinity
12:38 Breaking the Cycle of Unhealthy Behaviors
17:51 The Call for Courage, Compassion, and Love