The Derelict Podcast

Master Your Mindset: Grief, Growth, and Self-Talk Transformation, EP 34

In this inspiring conversation, Hashondra Jernigan Smith shares her powerful journey of personal growth and empowerment, offering deep insights on how to transform your mindset and take responsibility for your emotions. She opens up about grieving the loss of her son and the process of forgiving herself and others, revealing how self-evaluation, solitude, and self-talk have played a critical role in her healing.
Hashondra and Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni dive into the significance of self-talk and affirmations in building self-esteem, overcoming negative thoughts, and developing self-awareness. Hashondra’s wisdom around embracing solitude and using affirmations to shift negative internal dialogue will resonate with anyone seeking personal growth. She also breaks down the difference between grief and emotional withdrawal in relationships and the role that ego plays in navigating these feelings.
From mindset mastery to generational wisdom, Hashondra’s journey offers valuable lessons for creating a positive impact not only on yourself but on future generations. Whether you're processing grief, working on forgiveness, or striving for personal growth, this conversation is packed with actionable takeaways that will help you tap into your inner strength and start your day with intention.
"Your voice is the most important voice you will ever hear in your life….Am I talking down to myself, or am I speaking life to myself?"
Resources
“unATTACHED: the Final Season” by Hashondra Smith: https://amzn.to/47ddNdG
 
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𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction and the Power of Mindset
06:26 Hachandra's Journey of Healing and Forgiveness
16:31 Transition from Victim to Empowered
26:14 Becoming a Curious Observer and Talking to Ourselves
27:06 Letting Go of Blame and Embracing Personal Growth
28:02 Embracing Self-Care and Self-Talk
28:49 The Power of Recording Affirmations
29:18 Differentiating Grief from Withdrawal
36:39 The Influence of Ego on Grief
49:02 Generational Wisdom and Personal Growth

How Trauma, Community, and Vulnerability Shape Men Today, EP 33

In this eye-opening episode, Dr. Richard Oelberger, aka Dr. Zero, takes us deep into the psychology of men, revealing the critical role of resilience, community, and vulnerability in overcoming trauma. Drawing from his powerful experiences working on Skid Row in Los Angeles, Dr. Zero discusses the shared struggles between those in poverty and affluent areas, debunking myths around money, success, and happiness. He also emphasizes the importance of self-awareness and healing, urging men to embrace vulnerability and build authentic connections. Joined by host Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni, this conversation explores how societal expectations impact men, how social media skews self-perception, and why sharing struggles is the first step toward personal growth.
Don’t miss the transformative advice on starting your journey of self-discovery, backed by the power of community and accountability.
 
Get in touch with Dr. Zero!:
http://www.richardlistens.com
https://www.richardlistens.com/podcast/
 
Resources:
“The Zero Method” Richard ‘Dr. Zero’ Oelberger: https://amzn.to/3MyL49E
“Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life” Jon Kabat-Zinn PhD: https://amzn.to/4e9GIBI
“In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction” Gabor Maté: https://amzn.to/4gdx4Qq
 
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𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?
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Chapters:00:00 Introduction and Dr. Zero’s Unique Perspective02:48 Modern Psychology: Working with Men Today07:02 Trauma Across Social Classes: Skid Row vs. Affluence13:21 Breaking Societal Expectations: Men and Vulnerability19:02 Trauma's Lasting Impact and Overcoming It22:15 Avoiding Trauma and the Need for Self-Awareness25:38 Building Trust and Strong Relationships28:00 Embracing Healing and the Journey of Growth29:10 The Power of Male Community and Connection30:22 Vulnerability as Strength: Navigating Emotions and Insecurities31:42 Accountability and Support in Personal Development34:25 How Social Media Affects Men’s Self-Perception46:08 The Importance of Self-Care and Play53:20 Beginning the Journey to Personal Growth

Breaking the Silence: Why Men Struggle to Open Up and How to Overcome It, EP 32

In this powerful episode of The Derelict Podcast, we dive deep into the emotional struggles men face and the societal barriers that often prevent them from seeking help. We discuss the fear of vulnerability, the stigma around expressing emotions, and the toll it takes on mental health. Discover why it's essential for men to find their purpose, embrace vulnerability, and engage in activities that align with their values. Learn how creating safe spaces and asking for help can transform lives. Join us as we explore the importance of breaking the cycle of anger and emotional suppression and encourage open dialogue about mental health.
 
🔑 Key Takeaways:
Overcome the fear of vulnerability and embrace emotional growth
Break societal norms holding men back from seeking help
Find your purpose and align it with your personal values
Learn how to create safe spaces for men to openly process emotions
 
Get in touch with Anna!: www.annaurnova.com
To book your free coach call with Coach Anna Urnova: www.annaurnova.com/apply
Free masterclass about Five Shifts of Your Successful Mid-Career Change: www.annaurnova.com/freetraining
 
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𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?
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#mensmentalhealth #malevulnerability #mentalhealthawareness #breakthesilence #menempowerment #emotionalgrowth #findyourpurpose #thederelictpodcast
 
Chapters:
00:00 Introduction: Why Men Struggle with Vulnerability02:37 Navigating Midlife Career and Personal Challenges05:44 The Role of Vulnerability in Mixed-Gender Groups12:43 Breaking the Taboo: Expressing Anger as a Man17:58 Unprocessed Emotions: A Silent Struggle for Men20:09 The Impact of Suppressed Anger on Mental Health21:51 Creating Safe Spaces for Emotional Growth in Men24:06 The Cycle of Anger: Why Men Get Stuck29:33 Embracing Vulnerability: A Key to Emotional Freedom34:19 Healthy Ways to Process and Release Emotions41:25 How Integrating the Self Leads to Fulfillment45:55 Discovering Your Purpose: A Path to True Happiness46:41 Claiming Your Gifts: Turning Struggles into Strengths47:48 Shifting Your Identity: Becoming the Man You Want to Be50:08 Deconstructing and Rebuilding Your Inner World52:33 The Journey of Becoming a Writer: A Story of Self-Expression53:28 Living Out Your Identity with Confidence54:39 Changing Networks: Surrounding Yourself with Support55:57 The Impact of Networks on Personal Growth01:03:18 The Power of Seeking External Help for Transformation

5 Stages of Breakup Recovery: How Rejection Can Be Your Best Friend, EP 31

Josh failed at dating, part 2! In this powerful episode of The Derelict Podcast, Josh Abbandonato dives deep into relationship transitions, offering a fresh perspective on navigating the emotional turmoil of breakups. Josh explores the 5 R’s of a relationship transition: Responsibility, Reaction, Rejection, Response, and Reflection & Recovery. He shares invaluable insights on taking responsibility for your actions, trusting your intuition, and seeing rejection as a favor that can save you from wasting precious time. Josh delves into how the crossroads of recovery or relapse define the next chapter of your life and why setting boundaries is essential to nurture your authentic self.
This episode is a must-listen for anyone going through a breakup, struggling with rejection, or looking to heal and recover. Josh emphasizes the importance of a supportive community and why you should reflect on whether certain relationships are worth the pain. Tune in to learn how to take charge of your healing process and move forward with clarity and strength.
 
Key Takeaways:
Responsibility: Owning your actions
Reaction: Trusting your gut feelings
Rejection: A favor in disguise
Response: Choosing recovery over relapse
Reflection & Recovery: Building a new version of yourself
 
Memorable Quotes:
“The version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility.”
"No relationship is worth a slight loss of your true self.”
“Rejection is a favor. Don’t waste your time on someone who isn’t meant for you.”
 
🔗 Join the discussion and gain insights into self-growth, boundaries, and the art of recovery.
 
#thederelictpodcast #relationshiprecovery #healingafterbreakup #gutfeeling #rejectionisafavor #relationshipboundaries #selfreflection #communitysupport
 
Chapters
00:00 – Introduction: Navigating Breakups04:54 – How Will You Choose to Respond? Gut vs. Emotion09:08 – The Power of Dates and Significant Moments13:08 – The 5 R's of Relationship Transitions14:21 – Responsibility: Owning Your Actions21:12 – Reaction: Trusting Your Gut & Intuition27:30 – Rejection: It's Not Me, It's You - A Blessing in Disguise33:42 – Response: The Crossroads - Recovery or Relapse?38:58 – Reflection & Recovery: Becoming a New You52:55 – Why Community Is Key in Healing

From Breakup to Breakthrough: Josh's Powerful Lessons on Healing & Growth, EP 30

Josh failed at dating, part 1! In this raw and emotional episode of The Derelict Podcast, host Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni opens up about his recent breakup, sharing the profound lessons he’s learned along the way. Joined by his friend Veronica, they dive into the power of vulnerability, the importance of setting boundaries, and how embracing failures can lead to incredible personal growth. Josh reflects on past relationships and offers actionable advice on healing after a breakup, overcoming shame, and learning to seek feedback from trusted sources.
This episode uncovers key insights into the journey of emotional recovery for men, highlighting the difference between avoidant and addictive behaviors and why being present with your emotions is crucial for healing. Whether you're recovering from heartbreak or simply looking to grow emotionally, Josh’s reflections and tips offer powerful tools for navigating life’s toughest moments.
🔑 Don’t miss this candid conversation full of practical wisdom for any man looking to heal, grow, and embrace their vulnerabilities.
 
Resources
Red/Yellow/Green Light Behaviors (3 Circle Worksheet): https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QMsT2e0KOhBokB6r_mr9XO6JihSso6EC/view?usp=sharing
Resentment, Fear, & Sex Inventory: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eDPqVnNDWWjmhYKj0Azj4dyLDp_z1Nr2/view?usp=sharing
How to make an amends: https://www.hazeldenbettyford.org/articles/making-amends-addiction-recovery
Love Style Quiz: https://howwelove.com/love-style-quiz/
 
Chapters
00:00 - Introduction: Embracing Failures and Authenticity05:06 - Navigating Breakups & Emotional Growth18:32 - The Importance of Setting Healthy Boundaries29:59 - Learning from Mistakes: Healing & Growth35:43 - Emotional Well-being: Green Light Behaviors41:03 - Seeking Feedback & Overcoming Ego42:33 - Understanding & Managing Avoidant Behavior44:00 - Addictive vs. Avoidant Behaviors: What You Need to Know46:29 - Sobriety vs. Recovery: Understanding the Difference51:51 - Honest Communication for Emotional Healing56:37 - Vulnerability & Authenticity in Relationships01:00:28 - Navigating Emotions & Reactions Post-Breakup01:03:22 - The Healing Power of Crying & Feeling01:06:15 - Recognizing Defensive & Reactive Behaviors01:09:31 - Self-Reflection & Seeking Support Systems01:19:36 - The Healing Process: Moving Forward

Authentic Masculinity: Overcoming Addiction, Toxicity, and the Power of Mentorship, EP 29

In this powerful episode, host Josh Abbandonato sits down with Mark Azoulay, founder of Men's Therapy Online, to dive deep into the journey of authentic masculinity. Mark opens up about his recovery from addiction and how therapy and men's groups played a pivotal role in discovering his true self. They confront the challenges men face when seeking help and discuss the impact of toxic masculinity on mental health. Together, they explore how mentorship and community are essential for men to overcome 'boy psychology' and develop healthy masculinity. The conversation emphasizes the importance of discipline, strength, and gravitas in preparing for life's ultimate challenges and finding true fulfillment.
 
Get in touch with Marc!: https://menstherapy.online/
Facebook group: https://loom.ly/6kb8KOY
 
Books:
“The Way of Men” Jack Donovan: https://amzn.to/473m0RO
“King, Warrior, Magician, Lover” Robert Moore: https://amzn.to/3vc074b
“Iron John: A Book about Men” Robert Bly: https://amzn.to/4dFlNGZ
“The Way of the Superior Man” David Deida: https://amzn.to/4eozQkU
 
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𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?
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Chapters:
00:00 Introduction: Journey into Authentic Masculinity
02:59 Discovering Authentic Masculinity and Its Impact
11:06 Battling Addiction: Personal Stories and Insights
16:44 Addressing Toxic Masculinity and Mental Health
23:52 How Mentorship and Community Transform Lives
31:05 From Addiction to Enlightenment: A Personal Journey
32:29 The Pitfalls of Superficial Success in Men’s Lives
34:11 Measuring Success: Personal Growth vs. External Achievements
37:40 Embracing Life’s Challenges for Personal Development
37:58 First Steps: Finding Support Through Men’s Retreats and Therapy
46:14 Confronting Life’s Ultimate Challenge: The Role of Death Awareness
49:42 The Impact of Masculine Love and Effective Mentorship
57:09 Final Thoughts: Taking Action and Joining the Community

The Importance of Intentional Challenges for Men, EP 28

In this episode, Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni and marriage and family therapist Kristal DeSantis delve into the unique challenges men face in seeking help and support. They discuss the importance of community, intentional challenges, and the societal expectations that often prevent men from reaching out for assistance. Kristal shares insights from her book, “Strong: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man,” exploring the scarcity of resources for men in relationships and mental health. Josh and Kristal emphasize the need for men to step up to challenges, highlighting the balance between risk, safety, and growth in relationships. They discuss the six aspects of a healthy relationship—safety, trust, respect, openness, nurturing, and generosity—and the crucial roles of self-awareness, stability, self-regulation, and self-expression. This conversation encourages men to live authentically, aligned with their values, while seeking the support and resources they need to thrive.
 
Resources
“Strong: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man” Kristal DeSantis: https://amzn.to/4fP6Y67
 
Like the episode? Please rate and review!
 
Follow us on social media:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TheDerelictPodcast
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thederelictpodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thederelictpodcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thederelictpod/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheDerelictPod
Website: https://www.thederelict.biz/podcast
 
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Book Overview
03:09 The Lack of Resources for Men in Relationships and Mental Health
08:00 Empowering Men to Seek Help and Therapy
15:24 The Importance of Intentional Challenges for Men
25:50 Building Community Support for Men
27:35 Stepping Up to Challenges
29:59 The Interplay Between Risk, Challenge, and Safety
32:33 The Importance of Self-Awareness and Confidence
35:24 Self-Regulation and Self-Expression in Relationships
48:20 Living a Life Aligned with Your Values
54:31 Seeking Help and Resources for Personal Growth

Men: Let’s Embrace Fallibility and Redefine Masculinity, EP 27

Discover a powerful conversation on masculinity in this episode as Josh "Abbandonato" Tomeoni sits down with Brent Dowlen to redefine what it truly means to be a man in today’s world. They delve into the crisis of masculinity, exploring how humility, gentleness, presence, and calmness are essential qualities for modern men. Learn why true strength isn’t about physical dominance but lies in discipline, responsibility, and emotional integrity. Brent and Josh tackle the pressure men face to conform to outdated stereotypes, urging listeners to embrace their authentic selves and grow through learning and self-awareness. This episode also covers the instinctive roles of men and women, emphasizing the beauty in fulfilling these roles while breaking free from traditional limitations. Tune in to uncover how reconnecting with nature and the power of spoken affirmations can help you define your own version of masculinity and live with confidence and purpose. This conversation is a must-listen for men seeking personal growth, self-discovery, and a fresh perspective on what it means to be truly masculine. Let us know what you think! Email us: podcast@thederelict.biz
 
Get in touch with Brent!
Read me a story dad podcast: readmeastorydad.com
Fallible man podcast: thefalliblemanpodcast.com
Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thefalliblemanpodcast
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thefallibleman/
 
For fun: The Witcher - Banquets Bastards and Burials: Geralt's speech: https://youtu.be/JYI7JCpp1Jg?si=KjR61STb5P3Zw_0p
 
Don't Forget to SUBSCRIBE to The Derelict Podcast channel and press (🔔) to join the Notification Squad and stay updated with new uploads. ✨
 
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𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?
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Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Read Me a Story, Dad Podcast
03:01 The Genesis of The Fallible Man Podcast
06:39 Defining Fallibility and True Masculinity
10:47 The Importance of Humility and Integrity
17:26 The Crisis of Masculinity
19:20 Discipline and Other Core Traits of Masculinity
22:22 Living with Integrity and Self-Care
31:51 Unique Challenges and Traits of Masculinity
32:27 Redefining Masculinity
41:41 Societal Perceptions of Masculinity
48:29 Controlling Bass Boat Syndrome
53:13 Connecting with Nature
57:57 Speaking Positive Affirmations